Gwen Wants To Know

I know, I know!  It's Tuesday and another post already.

Gwen The Amazing Chimpanzee over at The Bold Abode has tagged me- so without further ado, here are her questions and my answers.

No throwing rotten tomatoes or any of that hooey, either.

This is your official warning that you may learn very disturbing information about me in this post.

Read at your own risk.

Go on...read.  Don't be a scarebaby.

Gwen wants to know~

1.  What’s on your iPod/Mp3 player right now?

I don't use an iPod - I am too busy iPadding and iPhoning.  

Every once in awhile I will play the music on my iPad or plug my iPhone into the car, but not much.  I'm too busy singing Prince songs on Sirius 80's channel.

2.  What do you do when you get stressed?

Do you mean things like panic attacks, meltdowns or binge drinking?  Or how I avoid those things?

I have been properly trained in the fine art of avoiding Le Freak Out.

Breathe in, breathe out.  

Watch the trees blow in the wind.  

Margarita.  

Not necessarily in that order.

3.  E-reader or good, ole, printed book?

I don't care for reading books on my iPad.  I am old school about my books. 

You guessed it- I'm a member of the Book Smeller Club.  

4.  If you could cure ONE disease, what would it be?

I have all kinds of thoughts on this. 

My family has been terribly affected by some doozies. 

However,

 I think I'll go with Stupidity.  

IMO, more people are afflicted with stupidity than anything else.   

If that doesn't count, I choose Epilepsy or Autism. 

 I realize that Epilepsy/Seizure Disorders and Autism are not diseases.  

It's my choice to color outside the line here on this question. 

Both have affected my family.  

5.  What is your earliest memory?

I don't know.  I remember eating a bottle of orange baby aspirin and having to get my stomach pumped.  I assured my GrannyBelle that I'd shared with my brother.  I didn't want her to think I was stingy.  I did have nice manners for a little girl that had just poisoned her younger brother. 

 Gosh, if only it had worked.

6.  Has a movie made you want to get up and walk out of the theatre?

Yes, The American. 

I like my Clooney a la Ocean's Eleven.

I wish I had walked out of Underworld Imax 3D. 

I wore my glasses to the movie and got sick as a dog.  No more 3D for me.  

Unless there's Clooney 3D.  ClooneyVision?  I'm there.

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7.  If you could have a private conversation with Madonna, what would you tell her?

Oh, Madge.

I used to love you, but I don't understand why you speak in that ridiculous British accent one minute and then switch to a completely unidentifiable one in the next. 

I'm too ashamed to wear my rubber bracelets and lace headband now.

What happened to you, M?  

You are too old to be dressing like that and way too old to be acting like a pretentious little brat.

(I think this is where she would pop me in the mouth.)

You "loathe hydrangeas" ???  You are dead to me.

Just look at you...You used to be so cool.

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8.  If you could have a do-over on your wedding, what would you change?

 I was going to say "the groom",

but now that George Clooney has malaria, I'll keep mine.

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9.  What would you do if Publisher’s Clearing House showed up 

on your front step with that super-huge check?

Take it! 

And I hope I wouldn't be wearing my pajamas, but that would be against nature, so....

Then I'd move to...well, I can't tell you because I'd be rich and people do stalk winners.  

Although if I were to be in my pajamas when presented with my big fat check, 

I'm pretty sure no one would feel inclined to look me up.

10. What is your biggest flop to date?

What kind of flop?  Belly flop?  I think I was 10.

Project flop? 

 It would most likely be some expensive linen that I ruined when I was first learning to embroider.  

A very time consuming, 75 thread change pattern that I ruined on the last color.  

I'm talented like that.

and last, but not least...

11.  What's the BOLDEST thing you've ever done?

Either skydiving or marching up to the house of a boy that was picking on my son.  

Mama Lion Syndrome.  

I'd probably be arrested for that now, because I told him a few things 

that made him want to move far, far away. 

 In the end, he apologized and became Ty's bodyguard,

 so I didn't have to go all "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle" on him.

Don't mess with my child.  

I will hurt you.

So, there is my "Eleven questions you wish you didn't have the answers to" post.

Cue the wah wah wah...you may be next.